


On Strength and Family

by bizzybee



Series: Requests [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Study, Flashbacks, Gen, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bizzybee/pseuds/bizzybee
Summary: Raphael reminisces on home and family, on strength and kindness, on friends and knighthood.
Relationships: Maya Kirsten & Raphael Kirsten
Series: Requests [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835620
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	On Strength and Family

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request for my buddy Shane! 
> 
> Thanks for commissioning!

Raphael doesn’t like to think about his final day at home.

Truth be told, it’s the only day that he tries to avoid memories of. He can think about the day he found out about his parents' death with nothing but a temporary twinge of dismay in his heart, and the day that Maya first disobeyed him makes Raphael chuckle in reminiscence. It's something he prides himself on: his ability to let things pass him by while still maintaining his ever-present optimism.

That day, though.

It sits in the back of his mind as he eats in the dining hall, as he straps gauntlets to his knuckles and holds his hopes of becoming a knight in his hands.

He doesn't let himself dwell on it. It helps when he's able to keep his body busy, but he can only train so much. He’s still expected to go to classes, to sleep, to do his schoolwork. Ignatz and Ingrid try to tell him that being balanced in your schedule is as important as training when it comes to being a knight, but despite everything, Raphael finds that difficult to believe. 

Important? Sure.  _ As  _ important as being strong? He doubts it. 

Still, he keeps at it as best he can. 

It’s a foggy Horsebow Moon morning when he steps into the Golden Deer classroom, Lysithea at his side. They’d taken to walking to class together, if only because they sit next to each other at the front of the room. Lysithea, to study, and Raphael because he can’t see the board nor the professor anywhere else. 

Even in the front row, though, Raphael can’t help but get distracted when the Professor isn’t talking about something he’s interested in. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but he knows as soon as the Professor starts talking about dark magic that he’s done for. He grips his quill tightly, repeating the Professor’s words under his breath as he tries to write them down.

It’s no use, though, and he can feel that memory creeping up on him, the way it does whenever he’s distracted.

* * *

_ “Maya.” He stood outside her bedroom door, knocking twice to let her know he’s there. “Aren’t you gonna come out and tell your big bro goodbye?” _

_ She didn't answer, but he could hear the sounds of shuffling through the door, then the sound of something hitting the ground.  _

_ She'd been speaking to him less and less in the past however many weeks, ever since Raphael's departure had turned from a far-off fantasy to their actual reality.  _

_ Raphael had tried to explain that he's doing it to give her a better life, to care for her the way their parents had. Maya said she understood, but her heart still began to close.  _

_ Much in the way Raphael was starting his new life, Maya was saying goodbye to hers. _

_ He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Maya's heavy footsteps nearing the door. He took a step back just as she opened it, a grin coming over his face to contradict the scowl on hers.  _

_ "Maya," he crooned, opening his arms wide. "C'mere, little sis, bring it in."  _

_ Maya rolled her eyes, but allowed herself to be pulled into a hug, leaning her head against Raphael's chest as he laughed and pulled her close.  _

_ She'd changed after their parents died. A lot of things had.  _

_ Raphael never really changed. He doesn't think he ever will. It's not something he does, really.  _

_ Actually, that wasn't true.  _

_ His love for his parents had changed that fateful day. It had transferred to Maya, to her wellbeing, to everything she could ever need or want.  _

_ Maya pulled away much too soon, and knocked Raphael's hand away as he tried to ruffle her hair.  _

_ "Stop it," she complained.  _

_ "Ah, come on, Maya. Let's go get some breakfast, yeah?"  _

_ "Yeah," Maya conceded.  _

_ If there was anything the Kirstens could agree on, it was food. _

* * *

Everything Raphael does is for his family. 

He may not know a lot of things, but even he can tell how much the idea of family is conflated with loyalty to one’s country by many of the nobles in his class. 

He thinks that's why he gets along with Leonie and Ignatz the best. Their worlds are as small and tight-knit as his, the things they do for their families outweighing loyalty to the Alliance itself. 

He finds himself falling into step with Ignatz after their morning classes, slowing down his pace as they head towards the Dining Hall. 

"Man," Raphael groans, cracking his neck. "I don't know how we're supposed to remember all this magic stuff. I'm always gonna prefer getting up close and personal in a fight." 

"I don't know," Ignatz pushes his glasses further up his nose, sniffing. "I thought it seemed sort of interesting. I might ask Professor Byleth if I can look into it a little more."

"Yeah? You'd be good at that stuff," Raphael says, clapping Ignatz on the shoulder. "You've got the brains."

"Really? Uh, thanks," Ignatz says, cheeks pink. "Um, yes. Thank you." 

"It's no problem!" Raphael laughs. "Maya's into that sort of magic stuff, too. She's way smarter than I am, and she's not even been to school." 

"I thought- Never mind." Ignatz shakes his head, walking faster. 

"Hey, wait," Raphael catches up easily. "What's got you all messed up, huh?" 

Ignatz shakes his head. "It's nothing. I just had a memory of, you know, Maya saying she was excited for school, but then, you know. Never mind." 

This time, Raphael lets him walk away. 

* * *

_ "Can't you be a little happy for your big brother?" Raphael teased as he set down a platter of eggs and sausage in front of Maya. He plopped into the seat next to her with his own platter, not waiting before he digs in.  _

_ Maya glared at him. "No."  _

_ She used to be so much happier, Raphael thought. Back when she had aspirations that might have been achievable.  _

_ "Hey, just think about it," Raphael continued, still cheery. "In a few years, I bet I'll have enough saved to send you off to Fhirdiad."  _

_ Maya stared down at her plate, stabbing much too aggressively into a bite of eggs.  _

_ "You can go and learn your magic stuff, and be one of the best mages in Fódlan!"  _

_ Maya took her time chewing, then swallowing. She still didn't reply.  _

_ Raphael had wet his lips, before turning back to his food. They ate in silence, Raphael looking at Maya, then back at his plate.  _

_ He didn't want this to be the last experience they had together.  _

_ "Maya, look-"  _

_ "I know," she snapped. Raphael closed his mouth. "Stop."  _

_ "Oh!" Raphael said. "Okay." He turns back to his food, even though his plate is almost empty.  _

_ She'd given him a hug and a kiss before he left, with a frown and tears in her eyes.  _

_ Raphael wished he had said more. _

_ Raphael wished there was another way to give Maya the life she deserved. _

* * *

This is the only way, though, so Raphael scarfs down his food, makes milk come out of Leonie’s nose with a joke, and pounds Ignatz on the back when he starts to choke. 

He feels more at home in his afternoon training, trading memories of home for the  _ thwack  _ of his fists meeting burlap, the rhythm of his hits corresponding with the sting in his shoulders. 

He writes letters to Maya, and she replies sometimes. He wishes he could visit more often, or that Maya could visit the Monastery. There's a lot of room for wishes in Raphael's heart. 

There's room, too, for friends, and for loved ones, and for his parents, and for Maya most of all. 

Even as the memory of such a silent lackluster farewell pervades his mind, he keeps training. Keeps writing letters. Keeps his heart on his sleeve and his intentions open for all to see.

Maya will have the life she wants. The life she deserves. 

He will make absolutely sure of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> @bizzybee429 on Twitter and @officialferdinand on Tumblr


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